Question:
English is my second language and I have problem putting together my
objective section for my resume. It goes like this:
Objective
A mathematics teaching position to employ my experience and education to
help adult students to achieve their potentials through braking previously
acquired patterns (pattern of failure), cognitive schemas (school is my
enemy) and very often low self image, feelings of incompetence and learned
helplessness.
Answer:
-Suggested re-write to avoid the run-on sentence and the spelling error
of "braking/breaking". I also find "cognitive schemas" to be jargon,
and unless there's a specific reason in this resume to use it as a
technical term, I'd avoid this type of term. (If it simply means the
"school is my enemy" attitude, perhaps "antipathy to structured
learning" could be used, as in the following?)
Objective.
A mathematics teaching position which uses my experience and
education to help adult students achieve their potential by
breaking previously-acquired patterns of failure; removing
antipathy to structured learning; and improving feelings of
low self-image, incompetence and learned helplessness.
This is obviously just a try at it; others may provide much better
phrasing.
-.if you don't mind, Harvey, I was stopped by "improving feelings
of..." It could almost read as though one wanted to make those
feelings stronger.
How about something like: "Improving self-image such that
the learner no longer feels incompetent and helpless."
I assume that the institution to which poster wishes to apply
likes b.s. academese; I happen to hate it...!
I'm also stopped by "breaking...patterns". Patterns
are "formed". What would be the converse? "Altering..?
Not that great..
